(My first blog post!!! Yay!!!)  Obviously, you are not in love with me … yet!   My intention for this blog and podcast is to explore all of our love relationships and learn to make them better.  We all deserve to have great relationships, and you are no exception!  Since I love, love, love everything dealing with love and relationships, I am so excited about doing this!

Love Is???

Let’s start here… I want to know what Love Is.  It is what most of my couples are struggling with.  In my office, I ask clients in crisis, do you love your partner? I usually get a yes, but.  Or, I love them but I’m not in love anymore.  Or, I don’t know how I feel.

The next question that I ask is, are you loving them?

Most, will look at me funny and then proceed to answer the question pretty much the same.  With tons of excuses as to why they don’t feel the same way that they used to, and this is why they are not actively loving their mate.  This immediately tells me that they prescribe to the shallow definition of love.

The shallow definition is: Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.  This definition is shallow because it only describes just a small piece of the puzzle.  It just describes the feeling part.  Don’t get me wrong, these are wonderful and magnificent feelings.  However, these feelings can be fleeting and love is not fleeting.

Love is more than a feeling.

I believe that when we categorize love as just a feeling then we have minimized its extraordinary power.  And the best way to describe its power is by simply stating that God is Love.  When we think of it in those terms we must take a closer and deeper look at it and learn to appreciate its extreme power in our lives.

My favorite definition of love is:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8:  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

According to other spiritual belief systems, love is looked at quite similarly.

According to the Kaballah (Jewish Mysticism): Love is the ultimate purpose of life.  Love in the hebrew language has a special meaning.  Love in Hebrew is “Ahava” and the meaning of the root word is “to give”.   The word in its entirety breaks down to I give love.  Love is giving.

The definition of love in Buddhism is wanting others to be happy. READ MORE »