(My first blog post!!! Yay!!!)  Obviously, you are not in love with me … yet!   My intention for this blog and podcast is to explore all of our love relationships and learn to make them better.  We all deserve to have great relationships, and you are no exception!  Since I love, love, love everything dealing with love and relationships, I am so excited about doing this!

Love Is???

Let’s start here… I want to know what Love Is.  It is what most of my couples are struggling with.  In my office, I ask clients in crisis, do you love your partner? I usually get a yes, but.  Or, I love them but I’m not in love anymore.  Or, I don’t know how I feel.

The next question that I ask is, are you loving them?

Most, will look at me funny and then proceed to answer the question pretty much the same.  With tons of excuses as to why they don’t feel the same way that they used to, and this is why they are not actively loving their mate.  This immediately tells me that they prescribe to the shallow definition of love.

The shallow definition is: Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.  This definition is shallow because it only describes just a small piece of the puzzle.  It just describes the feeling part.  Don’t get me wrong, these are wonderful and magnificent feelings.  However, these feelings can be fleeting and love is not fleeting.

Love is more than a feeling.

I believe that when we categorize love as just a feeling then we have minimized its extraordinary power.  And the best way to describe its power is by simply stating that God is Love.  When we think of it in those terms we must take a closer and deeper look at it and learn to appreciate its extreme power in our lives.

My favorite definition of love is:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8:  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

According to other spiritual belief systems, love is looked at quite similarly.

According to the Kaballah (Jewish Mysticism): Love is the ultimate purpose of life.  Love in the hebrew language has a special meaning.  Love in Hebrew is “Ahava” and the meaning of the root word is “to give”.   The word in its entirety breaks down to I give love.  Love is giving.

The definition of love in Buddhism is wanting others to be happy.

So, think about the spiritual definitions of love as your barometer.  Loving someone is an unselfish act.  If we live accordingly, then we have truly loved and when people are loved fully they are able to return that type of love in kind.

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Define love …. what is your definition?   ( I would like to hear from you!)


2 Responses to Welcome to In Love with Keisha!

  1. On July 16, 2011 at 5:33 am, Leisa said:

    How wonder-filled is this post! In my not-so-humble-opinion I think luv is giving others the space to evolve and to be who they are…without judgement. I think luv is not trying to change someone into our idea of what we think they should be based on the picture that we have in our head. I think luv is giving others the space to be on their life’s journey and to make mistakes and not make it about us and what we want. I think luv is always seeing the good in others and pointing out that good to them. I think luv is not being selfish and always making everything about ourselves but looking to see how we can improve or help someone else.

    • On September 26, 2011 at 11:43 am, Keisha said:

      I agree! Love can be amazing!!

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