“Where your treasure is (invested) is the place you will most want to be” (Matthew 6:21) The Message Bible

“Feeling” is the Fruit, “Doing” is the root

The basis of marriage is love but that is not the whole picture.  Everything boils down to choices.  Your will is where it all begins.  When I think of my marriage I think of home.  It is my pot of soil that allows me to grow and I take good care of it.  (Most of the time ) :-)

I see marriage as the greatest vehicle for growth.  When we live with and love imperfect people, we mature, master acceptance and embrace gratitude and contentment.  Marital growth will take place when we are willing, mindful, and make it a priority.

Be Willing

Are you willing … ?  It is one of the first questions I ask when working with couples.  For example: Are you willing to recommit to the marriage?  Are you willing to end that physical or emotional relationship out of the marriage?  Are you willing to put your cell phone down at dinner?  Are you willing to invest your time and energy into your relationship without expectation?  Are you willing to change?Marriage requires willingness.  Yes, that means there is a lot of work.  Your human relationships deserve  more of you.  Even a dead love will live again when you invest in it.

Be Mindful

Being mindful really means staying focused on your present moment.  Do not fall into the trap of waiting until the perfect moment.  Tell your partner how you feel about them… often!  Be mindful in your communication.  Check in with your spouse and talk with them about more than the logistics of life (taking care of the children, house, parents, etc.)  Communicate about what is real for you and them.  Spend meaningful time together.  Carve out alone time for the couple and marriage.  Time is the best way to stay mindful.  When you are enjoying your spouse, creating memories and connecting with them … it is a lot easier to be mindful of the needs of your spouse and the marriage.

Prioritize the Marriage

The marriage comes first.  All other people and events come after.  When you and your partner know that you both place top on each other’s priority list, it is easier to relax and trust in the relationship.  With that type of safety and security in your marriage there’s no stopping your individual and marital growth potential.  Plus, the spillover effect will benefit all of your other relationships (children, parents, work, and play).  Everyone benefits from your happy marriage!

We are going to switch gears and focus on DATING in October!  Please tell all your single friends to subscribe to my blog and Like me on Facebook.  If you have a question… go to Ask Keisha and submit.  I will be addressing all your questions and comments.

Thank you for supporting In Love… With Keisha!


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